when life  
seems senseless  
ni lorna salvosa agpay  

PARANG HALOS ganon nga. The sun rises and the sun sets. Ang ilog ay dumadaloy patungong dagat, ngunit ni minsan ay ito napuno. Generations comes and go but the earth stays on its place. Flowers blooms and it fades afterwards. People live and die. And it seems everything doesn’t matter at all.

Senseless, meaningless.

Life is Meaningless

Nung bata pa ako, ibig na ibig kong lumaki na agad para hindi na laging nakasunod sa saya ng Nanay ko. I thought growing up is such a big thing. But when I am there, I realized that its not. I’ll rather choose to be a child forever than to fight this life.

Wisdom is Meaningless

Akala ko’y karunungan ang siyang kalutasan. At maging matalino ang siyang patutunguhan. So I got it packed with a good job and a good compensation. But I end up my everyday miserably. People are eating my senses, they expect so much than I could give.

I thought to become a learned person is the real goal. I enrolled in a master's degree, but I find the teachings stupid, parang pang-grade school. I enrolled in law school, ganoon din. And I started reading, exploring, learning everything I could grasp. Then I realize that everything on earth is meaningless. Anumang baluktot ay di na maaayos, anumang kulang ay di rin mapupunuan. “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief .” -- Ecclesiastes 1: 18

Delectation is Meaningless

I thought pleasure can make me feel good. Nakipagsaya ako, sumayaw, kumanta, uminom at sinunod ang layaw ng laman. Akala ko’y mapupunuan ang mga pagkukulang. Ngunit nagising akong ito’y wala ring saysay. Umibig, nagmahal, ngunit nasaktan, kung kaya’t ito ri’y wala ring patunguhan.

Labor is Meaningless

I pour out all my skills in my toil. I pour out my effort and blood. Akala ko’y ang pagsisikap ang kalutasan ng lahat, ang magbuhos ng pawis ang siyang sasapat, at naubos ang lakas, naubos ang tikas. Ngunit sa gabi ng aking pagtulog, luha sa mata ang bumubuhos. For I am working with all my strength and found out others enjoying the fruit of my toil. Those people who didn’t work for it, eat all of my harvest. This is meaningless.

Riches meaningless

A poor person thought that to be happy is to be rich. But there was once a man named Howard Hughes, at forty five he have everything, he’s the richest man of his time. As years passed and he never loss even a cent of his money, it grows uncontrollably. But he found himself the world’s most miserable man ever lived. He had retreated from the society, living in a small dark room of hotels, keeping all the sun out. “Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he goes” -- Ecclesiastes 5:15

Kung kaya’t aking natanto na walang balangkas ang tao kundi kumain, magutom, muling kumain, at mamatay. At ang ang yaman ay isang pagkagutom na walang lunas kundi pagkagumon. Ito ma’y wala ring saysay.

Kung kaya’t ano ang buhay kung kasunod ay kamatayan? . Ano ang lakas kung mapapagal? Ano ang katawan kung patungo sa libingan? Ano ang pagibig kung hahantong sa kabiguan?

Ito ba ang balangkas ng buhay? Ito ba’y igunuhit ng ating Lumikha Ito ba ang hantungan?

The Meaning of Life

At sa aking pag-iisa, sa pagkalugmok at sa pagdurusa. Kinausap ko ang aking Maylikha. Ito ba, oh, Diyos ang nais mo sa akin, ang maghirap magdusa at saka sumpain? Ito ba, oh, Diyos ang bigay mo sa akin: pagluha, paghihirap at pagkamalungkutin?

Sumagot ang Diyos sa mababang tinig: 'Ibinigay ko, Anak, lahat na iyong ibig: buhay, pag-ibig, at pagmamalasakit, ngunit nang makamtan ikay nagmalabis lumikwad ng landas at iba ang ninais.' “God made mankind upright, but men have gone in search of many schemes.” -- Ecclesiastes 7:29

At Kanyang kamay ako'y humimlay, mapagpalang pag-ibig ako’y kinumutan, mainit na yakap minsan pang nakamtan, at doon ko nakita ang ang ganda ng buhay.